FWIW LT, in IOP my IOP T Joanna and I spent a lot of time on distress tolerance, but she didn't really teach me tools about how to increase my distress tolerance, I was just supposed to magically "get it" and be able to do it. Whereas I think it is a skill that needs to be learned, practiced, developed. I was given lots of messages as a child as well about not having emotions but maybe for different reasons from your folks. My Mom has Bipolar and it was unmedicated for all of my childhood. So her emotions were so BIG that everyone else in the family had to have small or no emotions because there were no room for them. (Sorry, not trying to make this about me, just thinking out loud here!) And too, I know what it is like to cry in front of a boss, and to feel like I have totally screwed up and that I am going to get fired. I don't know if you remember but a couple of weeks ago I word vomited all over my boss, twice. Not a good look. I was so sure I was going to be canned because this company does not do progressive discipline. One day someone is here and the next they aren't. I had no idea how to repair what just happened. Luckily, I took my cue from her, which she mostly ignored it, and so I just pretended it didn't happen either. But I am trying to decipher what happened so I can stop it before it happens again. And I say all of that because I think, and you can gently correct me if I am wrong, you might do this too. You might spend a lot of time, trying to work out how to not recreate a negative situation with another person, whether it is Dr. T or your H or whomever. I can see that in myself as well. (Maybe I am projecting...forgive me if that is the case!) And maybe that is why you kind of anticipate what Dr. T might say in response to something. I don't think I do that mostly because I have no clue how others might respond to me, that's the Asperger's in me, but I could see how that might be like a way to get some sort of reassurance, maybe....I'm not sure if that is the right word. To me, at least, that behavior seems totally logical! Of course when Dr. T does not respond how you anticipate he might, it leads to all sorts of feelings and emotions which then you have to manage and also try not to irritate the situation more! That sounds very stressful. I am neither Pro Dr. T nor Anti Dr. T because I simply don't have enough information about him to make that sort of determination. If he is generally helpful to you, then I think it is worth going to him and working through these things. I believe it could be frustrating to have to work through these scenarios again and again, but like you said, that even in your relationship with your H you need some reassurance and you've been with him much longer! I am glad you told that to Dr. T. Because he may not have the same background of what I assume are trust/vulnerability/attachment/abandonment issues as you do and may not be able (yet) to understand the depth of them. But he can learn! He is smart. And although I hate when he says something to you that is upsetting or unkind, like you "overreacting" (that would have bothered me, but to be honest with you, my current T Julieanne told me before I was overreacting, but she also said I had good reason to overreact and our work was to learn to react appropriately, so I didn't feel shamed by it, well maybe a little) I think he does have your best interests at heart, even if it doesn't always come across that way. He does seem to have some random boundaries, but my T has the opposite problem where I don't think she has enough boundaries! EEK! So both can be a problem! We work with the problems we have in front of us and hope to be better on the other side. I think it is good that you are pondering these things and working on them and I want to encourage you because I think you are doing a good job. Well done, LT. You are being very brave and vulnerable and that is not easy to do. I probably rambled a bit here so I hope that you were maybe able to take something from it, but if not, please know that I am thinking of you and sending you hugs and good wishes. Kit