He’s 31. Not 14. I know a lot of 30 something year olds. I can ensure you they don’t go around sticking middle fingers at a lady they consider to be a potential date or even at anyone they’d even remotely respect. And no one jokes discussing violence with someone they are interested in. Not at 31

Is this your first dating experience? First attempt at a relationship? If not, what kind of dates you had before that this behavior doesn’t gross you out? Do you live with family? Are you a minor?