Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
I do think when/if it becomes time to change therapists, you'll know it in your heart. You'll just feel it. My wife and I had this conversation about her job for years, where she thought maybe she needed to go for a promotion for X, Y, or Z reason, but she was also really happy with the job she was currently doing. I told her that she would know when it was time to move on, and several years later she did. (She also ended up leaving that workplace and industry altogether, but that's a different story!)
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Thanks, EM. I thought it was time to leave him when we had a big rupture a few years ago and actually terminated. I saw another T for a couple sessions. There was a potential medical condition I was concerned about at the time (that ultimately didn't turn out to be anything), and I realized that if it was a thing, it was Dr. T that I would want to talk to about it (this hit me on the way to the other T's office, and I drove there in tears, went through the session--oddly, with little emotion--and emailed Dr. T as soon as I left...). So I realized I still trusted him and wanted his support. And so I went back.
With ex-MC, when the one major rupture happened, I kept trying for a few months after. But I could just tell it was done. Nothing felt the same--the trust was gone, and I didn't seem able to get it back. So we left.
That's a good comparison with jobs. With past jobs, I hit a point where I just sort of stopped caring as much, putting in less effort, and then I knew it was time to go. With one, it was like, "We just had a 15-minute debate over whether this comma should be there or not...how is this important in the grand scheme of things?" That led me to want to leave the field, actually, and I took steps to make it happen, but it didn't really pan out.
Hope your wife is happy where she is now!