This exercise may help you.
Ten minutes or more a day, sit and imagine what you and your children's lives would be like without him in it (or at least living with you). Get into details. What are you like? What are your children like? How do the days unfold? Do you have more self-love, confidence, zest for life? Do your children? Is the chaos gone?
Imagine your husband being humbled by this experience, and picking himself up by the bootstraps. Realizing he has to change and does. Life becomes better for him also. He begins to live the life he couldn't even dream of. He desires to become the best man he can after he comes to the realization of what his actions have cost him. His children gain newfound respect for him.

In this scenario, you are providing an amazing gift to everyone including yourself.
While this may sound like a fairytale, there is profound potential for some version of this to come into your lives. You are in effect asking the universe or God (or whatever your belief system is) to benefit everyone including your husband, your children and yourself. You desire and attract to yourself a win-win situation for all. You are changing your focus from what you don't want to what you do want.

If this doesn't resonate just ignore this post.