@Rose76 - sorry for your loss - I did not know you lost your boyfriend a couple years ago. That must be a heavy weight to carry.
I have been grieving the loss of my dad 6 years ago and it does get better in terms of missing him but the grief is always there and some days I open the door and I am there and he is there, but only in my mind.
I had to totally reinvent why I was living and who I was. My purpose in the back of my mind was linked to my relationship with my dad. He was a friend and someone who understood me. It was not easy saying good bye. But I have had to become a take charge person and I have started to do self care to help me get on stable footing.
Thanks for sharing. Sometimes people care about me and I do not even know or do not find out till years later. My problem was I cared so much about myself, I did not recognize all the people that needed caring around me. It is not easy but change is possible.