Thread: Stuck
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Old Jun 07, 2022, 12:51 AM
Starlingflock Starlingflock is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2022
Location: Usa
Posts: 242
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
This man is entirely dysfunctional, he keeps getting fired, he refuses to get clean and sober, he refuses to get proper treatment, and he treats you horribly - in fact, he abuses you. Your own daughter is effected mentally and emotionally by him, and wants you to leave him, yet you stay. Why??? Why at this point would you not pull the trigger for the sake of your own daughter's mental health and well being, along with your own? I understand that you think he will change - he won't - not without proper treatment, therapy and help. And I disagree that mental illness is the cause of his abuse. He likely is abusive, yet has some mental illness and addiction issues. It almost doesn't matter what's wrong with him. You say it's getting worse. You say you still care about him and it seems you feel responsible for him. You're not. He is 100% responsible for himself and for his own life. So what's stopping you exactly? I am scratching my head on this one. I read through the entire thread, with all the details, and I am still scratching my head. You're being treated like total crap! And you're fighting back, but because you stay, you're putting up with it. Your self esteem has had to have taken a big hit, after all his insults and demeaning treatment of you. For the sake of your daughter, why can't you make a decision to leave this abusive a-hole once and for all? If not for your own sake? It seems your daughter is really suffering.... she is going to end up very screwed up from witnessing an entirely dysfunctional relationship, and is already suffering and hurt from it. She's angry with you, even. That will only get worse the longer you stay and she will resent you, potentially for many years to come. Pull the band-aid off, be brave, and end this nightmare for yourself. Life CAN be SO much better that this.
Thanks have hope. I’ve had a lot to work through. My daughter is okay at the moment. She expressed anger to me a couple times. She’s been happy lately and doing much better, breaking out of her shell. It’s better now that he is gone working a lot and he likes it too so that’s good. I will keep providing opportunities for her and putting her first.

I do want life to be better. I got a new job which is very helpful but its also a big change and I’m exhausted. When I’m not at work I’m caring for her. I’m caring for three dogs and a huge yard, cooking, cleaning. I’ve been doing intense counseling. I’ve been writing here. I’ve been breaking beliefs about my relationship. Again, I’m, exhausted. I’m doing my best. I have to keep my sanity too.
Hugs from:
Have Hope
Thanks for this!
Rose76