Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003
I'm not so sure that even if you found a T that gave you uconditional positive regard (and I am guessing this probably looks different for anyone), that your specific attachment "issues" wouldn't come up. At the crisis center I was at, one of the T's said that whatever problems we were having out in the 'real world,' we would bring into the therapy room as well. And she was right. With both of my T's, I think they are warm and validating, and yet all of my abandonment triggers still get triggered despite that.
I hope that makes some sense  |
YESSS. I get the sense sometimes that my T likes me a little more than she is probably supposed to (not bragging, it has huge downsides), and I still get all tangled up in my attachment stuff. Like, all the time. She is clearly not going anywhere and not going to change her opinion of me at this point, and yet... The difference is that working through it with her is helping me identify it when it comes up with other people. Like, oh, this reaction is reality in a this particular social situation and this reaction is probably my own stuff.
LT, do you find Dr. T invalidating? I think there is space for a T who is good at some things and not others (this basically describes all of them), but somebody who makes you feel invalidated, rejected, or shamed will actually cause more harm than good in terms of re-activating the original wounds. (My T and I talked about this several times during a prolonged rupture that we finally resolved. She said she would need to find a different approach -- like a break or a temporary referral -- if I either of us felt like she was hurting more than she was helping.)