Thing is, he cannot be your responsibility. And like divine said, if he's threatened to harm himself if you leave, that's emotional blackmail to get you to stay.

De-conditioning your own beliefs and your outlook is necessary and does help in terms of acceptance. It helps also if you can see and face this as being abuse. I know you wrote earlier that it's been hard to accept this as abuse, or hard to face it. I know that feeling. One never wants to think that they are putting up with or dealing with abuse.

The other thing is, if you're hoping that somehow magically one day he will "get it" after hearing you voice your concerns, that day will never come. He has to make drastic behavioral changes in several big ways. He won't just one day wake up and decide he must treat you with respect at all times. He also has an addiction that takes precedence over everything else. And he has a history of getting fired from most jobs.

The questions you have to ask yourself: how long are you willing to put up with it, and where are the lines drawn?