Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003
I'm not so sure that even if you found a T that gave you uconditional positive regard (and I am guessing this probably looks different for anyone), that your specific attachment "issues" wouldn't come up. At the crisis center I was at, one of the T's said that whatever problems we were having out in the 'real world,' we would bring into the therapy room as well. And she was right. With both of my T's, I think they are warm and validating, and yet all of my abandonment triggers still get triggered despite that.
I hope that makes some sense  |
Thanks, that does make sense. I don't think it's that my issues wouldn't come up with a T who had UPR--ex-MC did, and they still came up there. And he still ended up hurting me badly.
In some ways, I thought it would be better to have a T who wasn't like that, who was just open and honest with me. But at times, I feel like Dr. T's feelings are in the room too much, that it becomes more about him and his reactions. And it's usually negative feelings, in reaction to something I've said or done.
Or even if he's saying something is OK, he often says it in a more negative way. On Friday (I think?), it came up again how I'm careful in what I say to him. I mentioned how I'd said in a recent session that I wanted to say I felt loved by him, but didn't know if he'd feel weird about it. And how at the time I said that, he didn't say anything at all, and I just felt awkward. Then Friday, he said, "I don't recall feeling weirded out by anything in that conversation." Which I know is him trying to reassure me, but it's kind of an odd way of saying it. As opposed to, for example, "I felt OK about that discussion."
Does that make sense, the difference?
I mean, he will say things like "All is well on my end," if I'm concerned something I said/did bothered him. So I guess that's fairly positive (rather than saying "nothing is wrong").
Anyway, I sort of veered off topic there.