I also don’t think DBT is invalidating. At least, not my experience of it.

LT: I hope you see that all of this talk about Dr. T is a good thing! I can see how you are trying hard to examine your role in it all.

I will disagree a little with Una about the shame thing. I’ve felt plenty of shame in therapy, but it rarely has been a result of something my T said to elicit said shame. If she has, it definitely triggered something I already felt about myself, and not her feelings on that subject. I hope you can see that is different than telling you that something you did is irritating, bc I would feel ashamed at that. Which is directly related to his own feelings on the subject.

I have been worried many times that I’ve annoyed my T, or have had her so frustrated that she want me to leave forever. She has always pointed out that I find myself to be annoying or frustrating. Which has been true.