Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
feelings are not facts. One might feel shame but the other might not have been shaming. I wouldn't, from reading it, say the therapist's words or actions are universally shaming (I don't see them as shaming at all for that matter). That shame was felt is not the same as the other causing such.
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This is very true but many of his reactions and responses are loaded with judgement. Shame is often a feeling underlying many people' experience as a result of their own negative self-judgement. Loading a therapists judgements on top of our own just doesn't seem helpful to me. Perhaps exploring our own and why it is causing such feelings of shame may be useful...
For me there is just a close link between judgement and shame but I guess you are right one might feel shame and that feeling is on the person but the words of another may not have been shaming