My dad made it easy on me. If i did something he thought was bad, he would outright say. "Arent you shame?" Which was completely grammatically imcorrect and i think he meant, arent you ashamed to do such a bad thing?

But i also realized he didnt understand it and didnt want to discuss it. He thought shaming me like this was the strongest thing he could do in terms of discipline . So i have had huge issues with shame. Its like a major theme in my life and my therapy.

Sometimes shame is used to keep women and minorities down. But feeling shame can also be weaponized by the individual.