I wish I could write poems, songs - To explain things. It would mean practicing guitar. I don't know why my dad took his guitar back. I didn't practice. I was being taught.. I have my moms anxiety - and it's not cool. I fell out with the band. It lasted a few months - I spent the rest of the years alone. It's not good enough (What I've done instead - But it is to me - I just wish I could explain it), I'm not able to make sense of my life. I feel so different - And maybe I'll realize that I'm not.. It just doesn't make sense to me - Maybe lack of common sense.

I really have a "party" as a psych ward friend would say - I do it alone all of the time. It's misery. I'd hate to go back to how I was. I want change.