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Just grieving. I feel directionless. I'm angry because I initially started therapy with Mary to cope with grief, loss, and trauma. So 3 years later my feelings of grief, loss, and trauma are even worse.
The last time I reached out to a crisis line was 17 years ago. I'm keeping it in mind that I may call one soon, just talk out the defeat I feel. Frankly, I wish I wasn't shy to go to a dive bar by myself. I love dive bars and there's one 1/4 mile from me. I don't drink, but a glass of orange juice and some plain old fun would sure be healing right now. Just getting away from all this sh-it for a few hours. How nice would that be! Instead, I'm just going to bed, I am so tired.
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