@MuddyBoots I hope that by now you are in the hospital and safe and they are helping you. I know how scary it is when your brain "goes bad" I call it. What you went through sounds horrible and I can see how you wouldn't want to volunteer for more. If you go willingly to the psych ER I'm quite sure you won't get put in restraints or given shots again. Tell them that you're still having suicidal thoughts and go from there. I hope you are safe!