Sleep is very important for the total wellbeing! Hope your med provider will put you on a doze that works for you.

Thank you. Yes, I'm too sedated today.

I had a therapist once that mixed friendship and therapy. I used years to come over it. Later on something really terrible happened to me. I tried without therapy, but one day I almost stumbled over the person who had hurt me and the need for a therapist came. I was lucky to find a serious one. Of course we had to repeat some of the stuff I had worked on in former therapy, but we tried to keep the focus on the terrible experience from newer time. That worked very well for me. For now I can contact the therapist for sessions if needed. That works fine, but I try to not need it to much.

"Mixed friendship with therapy"...exactly. During our first session Mary commented, "If you weren't my client I'd have you for a friend." Of course, I was flattered. But more so, I thought the comment was an odd one. It seemed like she was fascinated with me and my life story. At that moment I would have done well to reconsider therapy with her.

I'm sorry you experienced that type of wrong therapy.

I think the best you can do is to take your time to weigh for and against therapy. May be you already have been through enough psychological work? If you feel so, may be you don't need a therapist now. (I did therapy with myself after the friend/therapist mix. I sat in a chair and told myself how much I had suffered. So I moved to another chair and played a therapist. I was listening, caring and warm. I was my own therapist and it worked. I wrote everything down in a book, so I could go back and repeat if needed.

I love your idea, to be your own therapist. Very smart.

I don't think I would have contacted a new therapist if it was not for the hurt that became unbearable after the later new trauma.

Yes, I understand.

I wish you good luck with thinking all this through. What do you want to work through that you haven't worked through already? Can you be helped by a self-help book? If you feel that you really need therapy, go for it (with a new therapist).

You ask excellent questions. I would like to work through the trauma I grew up with. I have been attempting to do so for decades, but have never found a competent therapist. Even when I paid quite a bit, many years ago, the therapist was a disappointment.

I have a book to work through. Yesterday, I was afraid of looking at it. Today, I feel much less afraid. Tomorrow I will probably open it

Best wishes!