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CANDC · Jun 10, 2022 at 02:32 PM

Oh @ZenZeta that sounds like you are so sad.

I hope you do not blame yourself. You did an incredible job taking care of him. Most people do not tough it out like you did. You did an amazing caring for him.

I found my grief with the loss of my dad 6 years ago went a lot deeper than I imagined. I did not realize it in time but he was the one that kept the peace and kept things from getting out of control. He dealt with my mother which was not easy.

In the end, I had to say to myself I did the best I could. We were not close emotionally and I always felt that I could not get close to him because he had up a big wall to reinforce his toughness.

I had to reinvent my life because I placed a lot of expectation that I would find a way to get through that wall. I did a little bit but he was always a lot closer to my sister.

Hope you get the support you are looking for. I found support groups and Facebook groups for grief helped me share my story and see that so many people are grieving. I am not alone and neither are you. @CANDC