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*Beth* · Jun 12, 2022, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think looking up where someone lives or even driving by is one thing but bringing something unsolicited to their door is a bit different.

I think I personally would be very bothered if someone just drove to my house and left something by my door. I’d not be bothered if someone asked me for my address so they can mail me a gift. It is perfectly fine and it happened to me and it doesn’t bother me. I’d be ok if they asked if they can drop something by my door. I’d probably be ok if someone just looked my address up online and then mailed me a get well card if d probably be ok. It’s just dropping something on my porch would be very uncomfortable.

I am not a therapist but I do case managing that requires many things similar to therapy. I also work with vulnerable population. I am always available for them BUT I live an hour away from work. Always did and likely always will. It gives me privacy. I believe that even though I am very devoted to my job I have a life and have rights for privacy. Seriously if I walked out to the porch now and saw unsolicited gifts from someone who drove by, I’d be very upset.

Now with someone being very ill. A coworker of mine was on a long medical leave and I had people asking what’s the best way to send things. I hand delivered gifts and cards to her in the hospital and then rehab and then her house. So I think with the sick therapist I’d probably ask other people in her office how to send her get well things. It could be given to her in the office when she comes to get stuff or could be emailed to her. Or someone could ask what she prefers

Having said that, your therapist needed to refer you to someone long time ago as she clearly cannot do the job. It’s unprofessional that she continues this charade of never being at work and never letting you know what’s going on. It’s so very wrong of her. Also she kept accepting gifts not saying anything but then all of a sudden had an issue with it. She is weird

Thank you for your input, Divine. There is so much confusion to my therapy with M. that I no longer know which side is up. I would definitely have dropped the gifts by her office, had I known she'd be stopping by. But from what I heard she was so terribly ill that I assumed she was housebound and maybe even in the hospital at some point.

I was more than surprised when I learned that she'd driven over to the agency, spent time in her office, had obviously spoken with various staff members. Her health condition has to do with her lungs/breathing problems; still, if I was so ill that I had to frequently be off work on short (hours) notice, then on leave for (at least) 3 months I don't think I'd be driving places and talking with people - and exposing myself to whatever virus I might pick up from someone.

You see, I didn't perceive myself as just "someone" driving past M.'s house. I have been a long-term, reliable client. M. knows me very well. The town we live in is fairly small and we don't live at all far from each other. In fact, her office is quite a bit further from me than her home is.

The way M. reacted to me on her message was intense, and not her usual style. It has crossed my mind more than once that her husband was uncomfortable and encouraged her to contact me. NOT that (if it's the case) I don't hold her responsible for her cold phone message.

At one point, and for some years, I worked with at-risk youth, a job I loved. Now, if one of the kids had left a gift for me at my door, or sent a gift to me, I would have been delighted and deeply touched. Especially true if I was on leave for illness.