Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth*
Thank you for your input, Divine. There is so much confusion to my therapy with M. that I no longer know which side is up. I would definitely have dropped the gifts by her office, had I known she'd be stopping by. But from what I heard she was so terribly ill that I assumed she was housebound and maybe even in the hospital at some point.
I was more than surprised when I learned that she'd driven over to the agency, spent time in her office, had obviously spoken with various staff members. Her health condition has to do with her lungs/breathing problems; still, if I was so ill that I had to frequently be off work on short (hours) notice, then on leave for (at least) 3 months I don't think I'd be driving places and talking with people - and exposing myself to whatever virus I might pick up from someone.
You see, I didn't perceive myself as just "someone" driving past M.'s house. I have been a long-term, reliable client. M. knows me very well. The town we live in is fairly small and we don't live at all far from each other. In fact, her office is quite a bit further from me than her home is.
The way M. reacted to me on her message was intense, and not her usual style. It has crossed my mind more than once that her husband was uncomfortable and encouraged her to contact me. NOT that (if it's the case) I don't hold her responsible for her cold phone message.
At one point, and for some years, I worked with at-risk youth, a job I loved. Now, if one of the kids had left a gift for me at my door, or sent a gift to me, I would have been delighted and deeply touched. Especially true if I was on leave for illness.
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I get it.
Well I am not cold hearted or anything. I keep in touch with a lot of people I worked with over the years but I think I am bothered if it’s unsolicited. Next Sunday I am going to a fair where one of my former kids (not a kid anymore) is DJing. It’s a public event and it would be ok if I just showed up but he actually invited me to come. It’s not unsolicited. I get a lot of contact from people I gave my cell and my address to. If I didn’t it would mean I don’t want them to visit me or call my cell, I’d expect them to contact me through my work. Not drive to my house. It’s just me. It has to be solicited by me.
I also think it’s possible it pissed her husband off. Mine is easy going and doesn’t care but lots of people would care. And it would bother them.
I am not trying to make you feel bad. Just trying to point out other points of view. Our living room window points to the porch. You can see me from outside if you come close enough. I am not indecent but I am not professionally attired. And my husband is about to grill outside wearing raggedy looking shirt. What if I have people over? What if my porch was a mess? What if I was high? What if I argued with someone in the house and it was audible. What if I have drunk uncle visible in the back yard from the porch. Some people have embarrassing family members. Should I be excited people show up uninvited at random times? I get it that you aren’t a stranger but it’s not like she said “hey come by this evening and drop a gift by my door more than once”.
I don’t want to upset anyone so I’d not be posting anymore. I am just surprised everyone but me thinks it’s a perfectly common and fine thing to do