Sometimes I get into the frame of mind that nothing matters as well. I wanted to say I hear you on that. I sometimes think like all the things I do daily are meaningless. Like what meaning should I ascribe to brushing my teeth or whatever if it's just a means to an end. Like health, perhaps. But I lose sight of the fact that these rote actions are actually helping me stay alive. I think it's hard sometimes to find meaning in the daily trenches of life. But to stay in it, I have to remind myself I have to do things to keep life meaningful. Otherwise I will be pulled out of the current of life. Not trying to sound morbid or anything. That's just the way it works for me.