@3rd rock - What you lack is *experience.* That comes with living. What you just went through gave you some *experience.*

I'm very sorry for all you've got on your plate right now. If you're managing to show up for work, you're doing great . . . and you'll be okay.

I grew up shy and introverted and responded to belligerency much as you describe. What expanded my capacities was throwing myself into situations that made me uncomfortable . . . things I thought I would be ill-suited for. You'ld be surprised how much of life's skills are learnable, if it comes down to sink or swim. You're going to surprise yourself, if you just try, once in a while, to stand your ground. Belligerant types probably are the biggest challenge for an anxious person. An approach that can help is to, first, soften your demeanor and reassure the hostile person that "We can make this okay. Let's think about this for a minute." You have to under-react to someone like that. That person is having a hard time calming himself down because he is emotionally immature. You just have to be the adult. Offer him something to think about.

Life will always test you, but you'll have your little victories, and they're sweet. Sometimes you just have to put on an act. Never give up on yourself.