I've known people who got stalked.

One person (not a therapist) eventually got a gruesome "gift" at her door. Her stalker was someone who got obsessed with her, and when she didn't accept his interest, it got legitimately dark. Police was involved but not much was done until the gruesome gift.

I do understand attachment and idealising a therapist, and I believe many people wouldn't harm their therapist or want to scare them at all. I imagine many clients would be horrified to learn they'd scared their therapist.

All you need is one person to really scare you, however?

I've been online and physically stalked for a while by a harmful family member (thankfully it didn't become serious) and 3 or so years on, I had a full on panic reaction after my session, when I realised the client who arrived before me (for my session with my therapist) was also my therapist's client (session after me), and that she was sitting right outside the therapy room door. I'm not saying that client is wrong or did anything wrong, I'm saying I had an oversized reaction given my past experiences.

My therapist has been stalked by a client (I didn't ask details of stalking) who eventually left my therapist. I still remember how sad my therapist looked and sounded when she said "they left..."

The topic was very relevant in my therapy, and we didn't go into any unnecessary detail and focused on my desire for connection and how I wanted to know her boundaries so they could become "rules" that I would never break. She actually said they're not "rules", that boundaries can be flexible sometimes, and that we'd discuss if I ever made her uncomfortable.

I understand wanting connection, and unfortunately, we can't predict how anyone would react, no matter how well intentioned.

I understand wanting to be "around" a location tied to them, and I don't automatically think driving past their house (especially if they have a home office) is violating... it depends very much on the individual therapy relationship and the people involved.

I've wanted to hang around the clinic (there's a few waiting rooms, I woukdbt interact with my T or even see her) sometimes because it's associated with safety when going through a difficult time.

Some clinics where I live didn't mind people doing that pre-pandemic. I have also been told to spend time in the waiting room until I was grounded enough to leave while she welcomed the next client.

So I asked my T, she said no, and I respected that.

Some of my friends drop off stuff by where I live. If they came unannounced to visit, I would probably fine with that, even if I would be surprised.

If my parents or particular relatives did so or dropped off stuff though, I'd be scared. Was already afraid one time when they said they almost got plane tickets showed up to a place I was having a vacation at. Which some abusive parents do. Doesn't have to be fear though, my sister plain doesn't like unannounced things (calls, drop off, visit, whatever) in general.

I do hope that therapists could set and enforce boundaries in a non harmful way, (I remember reading a clinical book on IF a client keeps breaking a boundary repeatedly after the therapist set it and reminds them every time of the boundary and the mext consequence), and that hopefully they can communicate their boundary clearly the first time they're uncomfortable and that they'd presume good intentions in the client.

My therapist has set boundaries with me because an action of mine made her uncomfortable, and that meant it would hamper our work. I've also set a boundary with her about a particular use of my name which makes me uncomfortable.

I don't think people automatically know another's boundaries.