Hugs BB you're not a failure. You're strong, have dealt with a lot of stuff, overcame struggles and are doing so well!

I know self doubt too well myself and we can't let it get in the way.. Tomorrow is a new day - If you could get some good sleep, that would help..

Wake up, relax.. Maybe it's a time to contemplate/reflect and there's nothing wrong with that!.. Disconnect from the thoughts - Realize that there's unneeded torment.. the mind making stuff up to hurt you..