I get the wanting to reach 2 years without self harming, and that's a really worthwhile goal to have. But you are also putting a lot of pressure on yourself at a time when you are struggling with the issue of your two friends being away for 2 weeks.

Try a little self compassion SK. You can do this, but if you relapse, it isn't the end of the world. Please don't be so hard on yourself, try and think what you would say to a friend in this position, you would understand and cut them some slack I'm sure.

Thinking of you and wishing you well.
E x

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