I've got a lot of thoughts going through my head tonight. Thoughts I wish would stop, but thoughts I have to work through. The two people who are keeping me anchored to this town are in serious trouble, medically. My mother has stage 4 cancer. Two year prognosis. Long time in cancer terms, but still a terminal diagnosis. The other one, a close friend, is experiencing kidney failure. He has to go through what you would expect, twice weekly dialysis. My father, a rather unpleasant individual, has appointed himself caregiver and caretaker to my mother, which wouldn't be so bad if he didn't keep everyone in her life from seeing her. I can't see her, but he will definitely come to see me to pontificate on my "sins." Like how I'm supposedly leeching him dry, by NOT asking him for money, but accepting it when it's offered (which is never enough for what I need). Taking advantage of him, by needing help in an "inconvenient" way. The list is endless.

I will add that I can contact her by phone, but I'm apparently not allowed to come to the house (for reasons I legitimately don't know).

Well, barring any drastic "Come to Jesus" moment, the second my mother passes, I'm gone. I'll leave him to sit in his large house. Alone. No one to visit him. Raging and despairing at all the people who left him. It's sad, but he brought it on himself. He turned on EVERYONE he was friendly with for petty reasons, pushing everyone away. My 1/2 brother (his son, who died 8 months ago) got a vasectomy to avoid passing on his genes. I'm hesitant to have kids because of faulty genes (50-50 shot of giving my child early cancer). If I did have a wife and kids, I don't I'd ever introduce them to my dad. Mom, sure, but with my dad's proverbial stranglehold...

The REALLY sad part? I don't think he'll ever realize what he's done wrong. It just won't process. He'll spend his days railing at the injustice of it all and not reflect on his part in it.