All through out my life I've been made fun of and sexually harassed by guys (and still am, occasionally) and it's been a really hard for me right now to trust my boyfriend . Just cause guys in the past have hurt me physically (three guys slammed me into a locker freshman year and I broke my thumb)and emotionally and it's hard for me to imagine that my bf is any different from them you know?-as horrible as it is to say

I just can't help but get phobic that he's going to cheat on me, stop liking me or hurt me physically/emotionally in some way. It's just really hard for me to trust him I want to I really do! It's just I always have my doubts and it's aggravating cause...well he's my boyfriend! lol I shouldn't be thinking all these negative thoughts about him but I do...

Now I have told him about how guys hurt me in the past-very very briefly , cause I'm pretty embarrassed talking about it. And of course he was sympathetic lol but I never told him how I was somewhat phobic of him cause I didn't want to hurt his feeling or offend him you know? But still, I want to get rid of this feeling!! It's the worst thing in the world

And it just keeps getting worse cause it seems like he doesn't like me anymore...I mean like, If we hang out, he'll suddenly go, 'well I guess I'll take you home,' and we would have probably be hanging out for three hours! and it doesn't make sense to me cause at the beginning of summer break he said his curfew was till 12-and yet strangely , whenever we hang out, he as to leave by 5

Also he'll always have plans for us to hang out and just before a couple hours-before he gets to my house, he'll call and cancel our plans, saying he can't. So far he's been doing that for a couple days now-and I know it's not because he has work otherwise I wouldn't be making a big deal about it lol I don't care if he can't-like if he has a curfew or he wants to hang out with his friends or something along the lines of that-I just want him to be honest with me and not lie!!

I'm tired of guys treating me like crap...
I'm tired of always second guessing and getting stressed out by him!!
I'm just so tired of everything!