It doesn't matter anymore, whether I cut or not, I guess I am not ready to quit like I thought I was, I am not a strong person, sorry everyone I can not be what you need me to be.
Then at times like now I feel like maybe I should just go get drunk and sleep with whoever cuz it doesn't really matter, I do not matter. I guess that is why I gave my daughter up, not really but I gave her to her two dads-still in her life but do not get to see her much-there i said it now the whole fing world knows how bad i am, not to mention all the other things that have been done to me that I guess I deserved. Yea I am venting and crying and trying to find something that can take this pain away. Who cares I do not anymore. Yes I need help I know that but when the Pdoc and therapist basically say we throw our hands up, that kinda means you are not worth it.