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Bad panic. Terribly hot, like a fever, then shivering with cold. Body aching. Having trouble staying in touch with reality. I've developed a fear of my phone, afraid her horrible message is being held in there, somehow. I fear she's looking at me through the phone. Made an appointment to have my hair cut tomorrow, hoping that spending a bit of time with my stylist will help divert my attention. But will be using the $ I need to pay the electric/gas company. Just, don't know what to do. I am remembering to breathe. Very dissociative to point of fading out. I'm scared. I did not deserve this. Healthier to allow my anger right now. 2 cats sitting near me, they're angels giving loving energy. Going to put myself in the shower & try to reconnect.
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