So I've discovered my thorazine was keeping me down. I'm not taking it. I'm not taking any of my pills. Until I talk to t the 16th. I don't want to sleep. I'm irritated but switching back and forth between irritated and happy. I'm not manic. I can hold a conversation but I don't know if t can even convince me to get back on that poison. I already think they screw up my abilify. As long as I'm not a danger my wishes should be honored. I know I need therapy and I plan to keep t until I worry she'll hospitalize me. I expected her to call today but maybe she will tomorrow. I'm newly in debt because I help everyone but myself. I want $400 in art supplies. My place. The sucky thing is hud comes next week and I doubt we'll pass. Maybe I just cracked under pressure. H says enjoy it but what if I'm going crazy. I feel bugs on my skin and under my hair. Haven't showered in a week. Just looking forward to getting back to myself before all these chemicals. I'm trying to stay away from Delta 8 too. Anyone have suggestions on how to convince a therapist to work with you on little medicine. I expect I'll stay on the injection for a little while. This T won't let me just drop my appointments. Or I'd go radio silence until I detox from all my meds. I think if I don't show up for my shot it'll be okay. I'm to quiet on meds. My personality is muted. I feel I need to be on less meds. I may talk to my pdoc about it on the 24th if I don't cancel so someone that wants it has it. I don't want to waste pdocs time but am I also wasting t's time?. How the hell am I supposed to judge this week? I don't want to see t. I feel if I ask to go less that she'll cancel the appointments that are already set. I just want to be left alone unmedicated. H thinks I'm mixed because a lobotomy sounds good.