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Jun 15, 2022, 01:31 AM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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I have "parts," not full-blown DID, I wouldn't say that, but I have an awareness of selves, kind-of a little crowd and some of them have identities. It's nothing new and no one has ever, in any way, hurt anyone else or done anything "major." But sometimes, almost always when I'm extremely triggered/traumatized I find evidence of having done little things that I have zero memory of doing.
This afternoon I checked my email and found an email from a hair stylist in a town about 15 miles from here. She was giving me possible times for appointments. Then there came 2 more emails from 2 other salons.
I was basically horrified and seriously shaken up. I had already set up an appointment yesterday with my regular stylist, who I've been seeing for at least 5 years. I adore her and we get on really well. Plus, her shop is only 1/4 mile from my apartment.
But there it was...around 8:45 this morning I apparently messaged 3 salons to ask for an appointment. The embarrassing thing was that 1 of the messages was to a woman who did my hair 6 years ago and I had complained to her because she didn't give me the color we had agreed on. No way would I ask to make an appt. with her!
I have no connection to those messages except the replies I got. Once, after an especially bad situation I awoke in the morning and found that during the night I had rearranged jewelry and some other small objects I had in my and David's bedroom.
I guess the best comparison is that it's like sleepwalking (which I did as a child).
Anyway, the point of this rambling post is just that I'm shaken up about receiving those emails. It's so embarrassing and I feel like a freak.
Well, I'm going to bed. Love to each of you 
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