Thanks for the hugs.

I spent some time alone with dad last night in the hospital. I told him my favorite memories of him, and thanked him for all he's done for me, and most especially when he flew solo out to California to rescue me when I had a mental breakdown.

I also got read the riot act about my financial situation. He urged me and my husband to start saving money, to see their accountant and to start building a 401K for retirement. We have nothing at the moment.

As of this morning, he is asking to be on morphine regularly so he doesn't have to work so hard to breathe. It's close to the end, in this case.

He cannot go home to die due to the logistics. He cannot maintain the same oxygen level at home, so he needs to die in the hospital.

I do have mixed feelings based on my upbringing with my father. I have had all sorts of emotions over this because he had been so overly critical of me as a kid and had neglected me. I ended up in many abusive relationships as a result. I have forgiven him, but that doesn't mean I don't have some mixed emotions. He was a far better father to me as an adult, and for that, I am grateful.