A number of you have followed this since a long while so I am posting something that just came to light.

Financially we aren't doing well. What's saved us was our early savings and huge deposit on our house. We've been borrowing money against the house for years now. We have about 4 months to refinance or sell and downgrade.

My wife is working very little. I've viewed her "take" on things as relentless optimism and strength. She IS going to finish her diploma. She IS going to work more for a higher wage. Etc. I've loved her resilience.

But it's reached a point that it is rather removed from reality. She's worked as little as 4 hours a week lately due to illness and isn't progressing in school much.

I haven't spoken to family about her in years because I had overshared too much and violated her trust in the past.

Yesterday I phoned an old friend, a distant cousin, 2000 miles away. I just needed to talk.

She asked:
Is she fatigued? Weight loss? Nausea and diarrhea that doesn't get better? Are her muscles weak? Does she socially distance herself? Is she just socially unaware sometimes? Does she have memory glitches? Are you the bad guy when that happens, like does she need a villain in her thinking? Does she seem to think slowly, like learning is extremely hard? Is she hypersensitive to sensory stuff? Does she have insomnia like crazy that doesn't improve with meds?

Finally she asked... Does she have days she just doesn't eat or eats very little? Does she drink 25 glasses of wine a week and take a lot of stomach meds?

Holy crap.... Yes! To all of them.

Cousin said, "Then she needs to be tested for a severe thiamine deficiency and B12 deficiency. That's B vitamin dementia. I hope it isn't permanent damage yet. My sister had permanent damage by the time she was 50."

This is big and scary and possibly good.

I have nowhere to share this. I'm just overwhelmed in so many ways.

RDM