It was a nice family gathering. We all shared stories and had a few laughs. It was cathartic.

I said goodbye. As I was hugging him, telling him I love him and will miss him, after roughly 30 seconds, I said out loud "ok" and I pulled away. I was crying, but for some reason, I had to pull away and probably a little too soon, since he was still hugging me. I feel guilty, and I don't know why I had to pull away. Maybe because of my mixed emotions?