A few years ago, my uncle passed away unexpectedly in his apartment. He hadn't returned calls for a few days, so they sent over the police to do a wellness check, and they found him. Due to some pills by the bed and a voicemail he'd left for his ex, at first, I thought he'd taken his own life and was struggling with how to process that. He's bipolar (which I only learned maybe 10 years ago) and had some substance-abuse issues. It turned out on the autopsy that he'd had passed from a heart attack (the same type that had taken his father--my grandfather--at nearly the same age). And I felt rather relieved (though honestly, a bit concerned that my mother was lying to me). I don't know how my mom would have handled it had it been by his own hand. I know my aunt (their sister) would have been a complete wreck and blamed herself. Plus his sons. Of course, his death is still sad, but it felt different being from natural causes.

Also, we were not talking specifically about suicide, but my T said to me once that if I were to die the next day, he would be "very affected." And he's lost a few clients--I think one definitely suicide, a couple gray-area overdoses (unsure if accidental or intentional), and one client who just happened to pass away (heart attack maybe?) while they were working with him, like didn't show up for a session, then his sister called a couple weeks later and said what had happened. And he said we was affected by all of those as well and seemed like he was about to cry.


I recall reading a blog post from a T whose client died (I think suicide, but not sure) that was really touching--don't know if I could find it now. So, Scarlet, I do believe your T would be really affected if something were to happen to you. And all of our T's would be.