I believe I am going to quit my job. There are lots of posts right now for paraprofessional jobs in public schools, likely working with autistic or intellectually disabled children who remain in mainstream schools. If I really think about it, as much as I love the EBD (emotional/behavioral disabled) students my job is incredibly difficult for someone without their own serious mental illness. It has been impossible for me. When I was working with a severe cognitive student and following that a minimally verbal autistic student (very sweet, spoke in mostly echolalia) I only had to take disability for my back surgery. At no point did I have extended mood episodes as long as I was on the proper medication. I am on proper medication (so far) and I think I will do much better in this type of environment rather than working with EBD.

It’s hard for me to do this as I really enjoy the environment of my current job but it’s just so stressful dealing with getting screamed at, the possible fights, etc. a rise in tension really triggers me these days and I don’t think I’ll be able to handle trying to diffuse a fight or physical/verbal attack anymore. Other disabilities can sometimes lead to physical aggression but it’s a different type of physical aggression. It’s more understandable to me. I had an eye opening moment with an autistic student this year which showed me how difficult it is to navigate a world of social expectations and interactions that are completely unnatural for some. It helped me better understand what a student on the spectrum might be going through on a daily basis and how to adapt the school environment to their needs.

I just think I’ll do better working with a different subset of disabilities.