I woke up around noon. my leg is still shaking but I'm calmer. don't want to self harm as much. I'm tired haven't taken the prn yet today. This suck. I don't want this. I was harsh with H last night basically told him to shut up but not that nicely. He was telling me all the not good things meds take away but he doesn't understand I WANT those things. Just because it's socially unacceptable and hospitalize-able doesn't mean I agree they're bad. I just wish more things were socially acceptable. I can't use any of outlets because it's not acceptable and that pisses me off. I'm trying to be calm about this but I'm not. I feel like they're trying to kill an important part of me.