Quote:
Originally Posted by KLL85
I guess what I’m concerned about is the fact that it might make the longing to be with him in person even worse, and if it didn’t work, my T getting frustrated as nothing is helping and I’m scared that might lead to him rejecting me. I recognise that these fears are me catastrophising the situation, but they are there.
LT my T is also the same and we have never spoke on the phone and he’s never even called my number before so I think that’s possibly why it feels so weird. I have thought about asking him to hand write something in the past which I think I would have found comforting, so perhaps a voicemail would be helpful.
I guess I’m just curious and a bit apprehensive about what he would say. If he didn’t say what I would want him to say (lots of kind, caring, reassuring and comforting stuff) then this might make things worse as I would likely be hurt and possibly annoyed.
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This is all good stuff to talk about too. Since he suggested the voicemail, it sounds like he understands attachment injuries, so it's unlikely that he expects one voicemail to rewire your brain and will be frustrated with you if it doesn't. Certainly me saying that doesn't make the fear go away, but maybe experiencing what he's offering will help turn down the fear a little. And then you'll trust him more and start to feel more comfortable and slowly you'll chip away at it all.
Maybe it won't be exactly the words you want or maybe it will feel good at some times and bad at others. A handwritten note might also be a good thing to experiment with. It's hard to say, and you're already brave to be thinking it over even when it freaks you out.