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You've just listed a bunch of sza/bp symptoms. I think it's safe to say that this is your disorder that you have rather than you (and it is a real concern!)
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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