I resonate with the deep desperation to be with your T. The little me craves to be with L.

L has emailed me 3 recordings: one a meditation, one a goodnight message, and another a reassuring message. All help me feel connected to her. However, I don't always listen to them for the same reason you're worried about. Sometimes I know it will feel like a tease.

There are many things you can do to try to create another connection with him. L and I do candle lighting, we have a scrapbook we make together, we share items (I have her blanket and she has my bracelet), there are soft transitional object which might be more comforting to you. I had to convince T to give me a stuffed animal. Maybe your T can write you a letter or card. I got my ex-Pdoc to do that for me. You can do art together. Otherways to create a bond is during therapy you can do grounding exercises or play games.