It is 12:34am (I usually go to bed at 9) and I am in a really dark place. I want to torch all my calculus and astronomy books because I'm too stupid to understand them and torch all my hiking/skiing guides because it feels like this (physical) pain will never end and I will never heal. I'll rip up my bible and use it to stable tables. Then it'll be useful.

I just want to rip my skin open and break all my bones and rip my muscles apart.