I'm sorry guys I'm trying to keep everything to one thread. My T will call Wednesday to remind me of my appointment on Thursday. I'm thinking about waiting until Thursday to bring anything up. She's not going to be happy I'm not taking my pills. She wanted me to continue until talking to pdoc. in 3 weeks but I just can't and anyway if I'm manic meds will not help within those three weeks. At the same time I feel she's going to hospitalize me so I don't continue ruining my life. Financially I ****ed us, emotionally I ****ed us. We may not recover this time. I just want an injection that I keep my personality, even the pickily parts but calms the SzA parts. My pdoc isn't going to change my meds but maybe I'll calm down once I withdraw and just keep my abilify shot. I can concentrate on acting normal it's only an hour meeting 1x a week I won't lie but concentrating on acting normal won't concern her as much. I don't want to be dropped. I need therapy. I need to make a plan. I don't know how to fix everything. T says I'm under a lot of stress. I just need to stay out of the hospital durring this withdraw.