@BeyondtheRainbow I actually meant the second one. I was on 600er 2x a day. I know I need meds to live. If not I'll end up accidently dying through some elaborate self harm incident that I wouldn't realize will cause my death. Ie home started tummy tuck. ( Real incedent that happened in wv. Thinking I'm plastic and not real. Or I'll seriously hurt someone else. Agitation/mania leads to sh. Depression leads to sh.