A further update...

Lengthy phone conversation with my aunt last night. She'd spoken to my mother and heard about the latest issues. Except there were vital parts missing. My aunt went very quiet when I filled in the gaps. She's also at a loss as to why my mother is behaving like this and said she could hear the anger in my voice.

When I repeated my comment about not being her daughter, my aunt sympathised and agreed that the treatment I was getting from my mother would make anyone wonder. She also agreed that some things looked like they were stage-managed, although she questioned my mother's ability to do that.

We moved onto other issues. My aunt has invited my mother to her new house including overnight stay. Also mentioned suggestion to stay at my mother's which was apparently met with instant rejection. All because there's a few things lying around in the spare room which my brother promised to remove. Still plenty of room to access bed, wardrobe, etc.

We explored possible effect of self-neglect or vitamin deficiency being cause of mother's attitude but there's no easy way to broach the subject. My aunt is also disappointed that her own sister is badmouthing her for no reason. We all have different personalities and how we express things. Aunt's closing words were "you've got to have a life of your own" and "whatever you do won't be good enough".

Will see what happens at family get-together on Saturday (aunt's birthday). Of course, I won't react if I hear any adverse comments. I don't do that.