We celebrated dad yesterday as a family. It was very good for us to be together, just days after his passing. I felt a hole missing for sure, though. There's an empty space there that my mother must now fill for the two of them.

My heart is broken for my mother, for all of us, really. But mom? She will suffer the most. They were married for 57 years. My mother hasn't been alone ever in her entire adult life. This will be an enormous adjustment for her. I feel SO badly for her - my heart just aches. They had plans to travel during their retirement years. Now, my mother is seeking alternative travel partners, including myself. She and I talked about going to Northern California together - I happened to mention it to my sister at our gathering and invited her, too. I hope my mother doesn't mind. I am not sure if mom wanted just the two of us to go. I cannot imagine that she would mind that much. Travel with her two daughters? How fun! We talked about going to Sonoma and Napa and San Francisco - this is my favorite area of the entire country.

I just worry about mom. She has her church community, her friends and family, and her town "neighbors" club, plus book club and swimming group, so she has plenty of distractions. But she is retired and there's a lot of space to fill.