First of all you have been taking important steps towards establishing your own independence. You are also getting therapy and have chosen to do art classes.

It’s important to keep in mind that you devoted yourself to being a good mother and you focused all your attention on your children. What you have shared about your husband is not something a person “just” knows how to understand and support. A lot more is understood then 20 years ago.

Also you have a home you have invested in and you still have at least one child living at home. You can’t just throw away years of investing in that home. It’s not like you are renting, this property has accumulated value.

Please don’t feel pressured to decide about this relationship. If he is not physically abusive to you or your children then you can take time to build up your self and your son has a home while he is finishing school.

Has your husband started his new job?