I am so very, very sorry that you are suffering!

You probably already know that it is the very nature of depression to cause the brain to generate a thought-stream dominated by negative thoughts and feelings about oneself, one's past, present and future.

If a depression is strong enough it can make it difficult to detach oneself from this stream of negative automatic thoughts. I was once in a depression so deep that I had to be hospitalized and was a danger to myself.

There are techniques to try if one is in the throes of a depression. I will be happy share some with you if you want. Since you may already have coping techniques, I will not share them with you without your permission.

Depression is brutal because in other illnesses, we can often choose how our brain's react to the illness. But depression is an illness that sort of hijacks our natural ability to cope and saps our strength. That is why it is such a horrible and insidious illness.

Are you currently in a doctor's care for your depression or in the care of a psychotherapist? Are you receiving any kind of medication for depression?

Are you in a position to understand that one does not have to take one's automatic thoughts seriously? Just because a thought or feeling pops into one's consciousness does not necessarily mean we have to take it seriously.

We can often gently detach ourselves and say to ourselves: "This is a thought or feeling generated by the illness of depression. I choose not to take it seriously. I am not my thoughts and feelings. I am so much more."

If your depression is so severe that you cannot detach yourself from the thought-stream that is torturing you, you might try calling a Crisis Hotline in your area for help or consider going to a hospital emergency room.

There is no shame in either of these things. Neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists and doctors are also sometimes victims of depression. Often they need help just like everyone else.

I hope you will find these Forums helpful to you. Sometimes it helps just to be able to communicate with people going through the same or similar things. Sometimes there is no substitute for that kind of support.

We are all fellow sufferers here. Please lean on us for support in your time of distress. That is why we are here. I have often come to these Forums for support in my dark times.

Hopefully others will see your post and respond to it.

Sorry that I don't have much knowledge, experience, insight and wisdom. Hopefully others here do.

You deserve a life where you can have real peace and joy of living. I really wish I knew what to say to help. Please forgive me if anything I have said has not been helpful. It is so hard to know how to be helpful sometimes. My heart goes out to you!