Maybe it's because I'm in a severe state of depression right now. I have a medical issue going on with my hands and wrists, and so I'm not medically cleared to work, which is causing me a lot of stress. I'm not supposed to type, so I'm glad I can use voice to text on my phone to make these posts.

Even with all that going on, though, I think the interpersonal skills that I'm about to talk about should be worked on.

It's when people say well-meaning things, but I just don't like it. And I know I can't and shouldn't try to make them not say it, and that's not really my goal. How do I get it to not bother me?

For example, if I accomplish something I was struggling with, and someone gushingly tells me, "I'm so proud of you!" Obviously they mean it well. But it comes off as condescending for reasons I can't quite figure out. For one thing, I didn't do it to make them proud. I did it for my own reasons. I don't live my life for their approval. Another issue is, I'm pushing 60, and for someone to address me as "young lady" feels demeaning. In my history, "young lady" is what you call a child you’re scolding. "All right, young lady, enough playing around. Get into bed now." Also, thinking "young" is a compliment insinuates that there is something wrong with being anything besides young. Which there certainly is not.

Maybe these things wouldn't bother me if I weren't already terribly depressed. But they do bother me, and people are going to say them, thinking they're saying good things, and if I utter a word about it, then I'm the one being negative.

Any tips for how to deal?