I went for an emergency dentist appt today because my tooth has been hurting and now my face hurts. So I suspected bad infection. And I was right. I’m very glad I forced myself to go. It’s really bad, I almost had to go get IV antibiotics. It’s likely part of the reason I’ve been feeling so unwell. Not the whole reason as the GI pain has been going on for years but definitely why I’ve been feeling flushed, tired, and just all around sick.

Now of course the tooth is not able to be saved, I must have an extraction. I don’t care. It’s the very back molar. The dentist said I could have a consultation with an endodontist to see if they could do a root canal but she said they likely can’t because the tooth is also cracked below the jawline. So I could pay for a consult that’s a waste of time or I can just jump to the extraction. So yes, option B it is! Then I don’t have to worry about it ever again.

This really could have been avoided if I didn’t refuse to go to the dentist for so many years. Of all doctors I hate the dentist the most. I always feel like I’m suffocating and I panic, and I just HATE needles in my mouth. So for the extraction I’m going to take Xanax beforehand so I don’t panic in the chair and bring my squeezy toy.

I told RS he needs to hold me accountable and not let me cancel dentist appointments anymore. I’m always prepared to go and then day of I back out. If I know he will scold me I won’t back out. Even if I also know he won’t really scold me or get mad, the possibility is enough to get me to go. I have to get a bridge and probably a filling at least, if it hasn’t turned into another root canal by now. I have to keep regular appointments, otherwise I’m going to lose ALL my teeth and I don’t want that.

Ugh. At least I’m taking my physical health seriously now. I never did, partly because of my core belief that I’m not really deserving of anything at all. Now I try to convince myself I am every day, so I must prove it to myself.

Hopefully by next week I’ll be feeling better in general. I can get back into the gym. That will be nice.