My husband's mother is visiting us, and has been in town since the day my father died. I feel that my mother also needs my company, and I am torn between the two. I did not join my husband and his mom for dinner last night because his mother wasn't feeling well, so my husband brought her dinner to the hotel and ate dinner with her there while I stayed at home.

This morning I announced to my husband that I will be joining my own mother for dinner this eve after work. He seemed surprised as well as dismayed and asked, "so you're not going to come with us to Bernard's?" Bernard's is his mother's favorite local Chinese restaurant. I said no, and almost felt guilty for it. But I should not feel guilty for needing time as well with my own family, even while my husband's mother is visiting. My father just died and I am grieving. I cannot spend every night with my husband's mom, when my own mother needs me too. And, I need my family around me as well right now. My husband should be able to understand this.

These are difficult times for sure.