It's interfering in my relationships. I have threatened my best friend on more than one occiasion when she has pissed me off. She is now scared of me. We still hang out though. I even carry a knife with me everywhere I go just in case someone does me wrong and I can stab them. I dunno I feel like it's taking over me all these fantasies, these thoughts. I feel helpless like I don't know who to talk to. I cannot talk to my current therapist because whe is too nice and just overlook it. I need to talk to a man about this but as you all know that could be a problem. I don't like the fact that these thoughts are taking over me but at the same time I am entertained by them. I don't know much about APD but I do know that an APD's philosophy is "hurt then before they can hurt me" which is my philosophy too. I have been hurt so much in my past by peers, my parents, etc that it's my turn to be the mean one. I am entitled. I've already been told that I objectify men. Why not women too? I feel so powerful. Like I can do anything. I want to play God. I want to be in control of when/how people die. I feel it's my duty.